After many years of anguish, dejection and sheer torture, when it comes to meeting and dating, I have finally come up with a one liner that qualifies the inner evils of the female mental process on the matter.
For the guys, we’ve all been in that elusive “talk soon” in lieu period, after you’ve met the girl for the first time and things appear to be fine and dandy. However, the real fruit of the battle lies with what ensues after, where the second meet never comes.
Now no war has been won without a thorough amount of referencing and research, as any resident scientist will tell you, so for my part, I shall pitch you a hypothetical.
After my said ‘Guy meets Girl” encounter, conversation (usually of a mildly flirty and lustful nature) between both parties will proceed through a number of mediums, namely text messages, facebook, email and msn. At this point things are going swimmingly and both parties appear to be enjoying the new found relationship. Unfortunately for the Guy, the Girl has just initiated the slyest and most brutal mind-fucking process.
Conversation may continue constantly for a week or two, Girl will even appear to be going to all the effort, sending the Guy the first message or being the one to pop up the Guys’ Facebook chat window. At some point in proceedings, usually after what would appear to be a successful and pretty heartwarming convo, the Girl will mention something about catching up or hanging out. Seems logical and innocent enough doesn’t it. We are now at the heart wrenching and most cruel stage of the Girls’ process. At this point, the Guy has been buoyed with hope of a second meet and his courage has increased tenfold. Little does he know that he is about to have his brains tormented and logical processor sent into malfunction.
Does this sound familiar?
“I’m working all week, but how about we hang after I finish on Saturday?” or
“I have a boring family dinner this Friday night, but I’ll want to get out of there straight away, how about we catch up then? or
“I actually really want to see that movie, we should go together soon?”
If that didn’t ring any bells, this will.
“Hey sorry, I’m heaps tired from work and feel sick so I’ll have to cancel on tonight. We’ll catch up soon but.” or
“Hey, won’t be able to hang tonight, I have to stay at the dinner, my parents won’t let me leave. Sorry, speak soon!” or
“Oh hey, sorry I actually took my sister to see that movie because she wanted to see it and I said I would. We’ll find another movie another time, or you can bring some over here one time.”
Yep, the alarm bells are ringing. This attempted meet up and fail process will happen a number of times until the Guy loses all hope and takes one hard dose of reality. And the reality is that life is made of trial and error. You won’t get things right every time and there will be failure and disappointment, amongst all the gaieties life has to offer. No one can blame the Girl for not wanting that second meet, that’s life, chemistry isn’t everywhere and everyone isn’t made for everyone. No one could accuse the Girl of not being friendly, polite or endearing, the Girl usually is and will continue to be sweet natured towards the Guy. A Guys’ real gripe with a Girl is that she is a coward. She tried to do things the ’nice’ way, when in reality, it’s far from it. The guy would rather not be put through the prospects and would rather be batting on a level playing field. People adore honesty and like to know where they stand. Is there really any other way?
So kudos to the Girl for the noble thought process that went into the attempt at being less monstrous about the whole ”I’m not really into you, we should just be friends” business. However, it’s a case of thanks, but no thanks.
As for that poignant one liner:
“If a girl wants to meet you, she’ll meet you.”
Genius, I know.
For the guys, we’ve all been in that elusive “talk soon” in lieu period, after you’ve met the girl for the first time and things appear to be fine and dandy. However, the real fruit of the battle lies with what ensues after, where the second meet never comes.
Now no war has been won without a thorough amount of referencing and research, as any resident scientist will tell you, so for my part, I shall pitch you a hypothetical.
After my said ‘Guy meets Girl” encounter, conversation (usually of a mildly flirty and lustful nature) between both parties will proceed through a number of mediums, namely text messages, facebook, email and msn. At this point things are going swimmingly and both parties appear to be enjoying the new found relationship. Unfortunately for the Guy, the Girl has just initiated the slyest and most brutal mind-fucking process.
Conversation may continue constantly for a week or two, Girl will even appear to be going to all the effort, sending the Guy the first message or being the one to pop up the Guys’ Facebook chat window. At some point in proceedings, usually after what would appear to be a successful and pretty heartwarming convo, the Girl will mention something about catching up or hanging out. Seems logical and innocent enough doesn’t it. We are now at the heart wrenching and most cruel stage of the Girls’ process. At this point, the Guy has been buoyed with hope of a second meet and his courage has increased tenfold. Little does he know that he is about to have his brains tormented and logical processor sent into malfunction.
Does this sound familiar?
“I’m working all week, but how about we hang after I finish on Saturday?” or
“I have a boring family dinner this Friday night, but I’ll want to get out of there straight away, how about we catch up then? or
“I actually really want to see that movie, we should go together soon?”
If that didn’t ring any bells, this will.
“Hey sorry, I’m heaps tired from work and feel sick so I’ll have to cancel on tonight. We’ll catch up soon but.” or
“Hey, won’t be able to hang tonight, I have to stay at the dinner, my parents won’t let me leave. Sorry, speak soon!” or
“Oh hey, sorry I actually took my sister to see that movie because she wanted to see it and I said I would. We’ll find another movie another time, or you can bring some over here one time.”
Yep, the alarm bells are ringing. This attempted meet up and fail process will happen a number of times until the Guy loses all hope and takes one hard dose of reality. And the reality is that life is made of trial and error. You won’t get things right every time and there will be failure and disappointment, amongst all the gaieties life has to offer. No one can blame the Girl for not wanting that second meet, that’s life, chemistry isn’t everywhere and everyone isn’t made for everyone. No one could accuse the Girl of not being friendly, polite or endearing, the Girl usually is and will continue to be sweet natured towards the Guy. A Guys’ real gripe with a Girl is that she is a coward. She tried to do things the ’nice’ way, when in reality, it’s far from it. The guy would rather not be put through the prospects and would rather be batting on a level playing field. People adore honesty and like to know where they stand. Is there really any other way?
So kudos to the Girl for the noble thought process that went into the attempt at being less monstrous about the whole ”I’m not really into you, we should just be friends” business. However, it’s a case of thanks, but no thanks.
As for that poignant one liner:
“If a girl wants to meet you, she’ll meet you.”
Genius, I know.
this too was a DAMN GOOD READ!!! holy.
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